Friday, April 28, 2006


Being in love

Heard these words just now on American Idol spoken by blind Italian singer Andrea Bocelli:

"You are lucky if you are in love."

The guy might be blind, but he could see.


The politics of sand

I’m taking a short break from writing the conclusion to the Gaia series. There is just too much to write; Attu33’s space battle with the starships, the fall of the Aztec empire, the birth of a society that has been running this world for the past thousand years.

The last part is a bit tricky, and is something I do not wish to talk too much about. This world has been run for many centuries by a society of selected men, numbering not more than a hundred, I suspect. No, it’s not the illuminati, but something much more real and powerful. People know that this group exists, but most people fear to mention them. Even the newspapers studiously avoid all mention of them. It's like they are there, but not there. And Bill Gates is certainly not the richest person in the world. Not by a long shot.

Let’s move on a bit.

The PAS MP Abdul Fatah has got himself into an embarrassing controversy by accusing divorced women of being "gatal" (promiscuous). I am somewhat “gatal” myself, so I treat the term with indifference, but if any of you are the son of a divorced woman, you may not like his remarks. The MP acts as if he has seen a lot of divorced women to be able to make such a statement. And what was he doing, going to parties and ogling at divorced women? Doesn’t an MP have more important things to do? And why talk about such things in Parliament? Don’t they have more important national things to discuss?

Look, if I want to hear about divorced women being “gatal”, I can go to the nearest rickshaw puller. I don’t have to hear it from an elected MP in Parliament.

Oh, this quote yesterday from a former doctor cracks me up;
“Despite my alleged profligate ways when I was prime minister, Malaysia is not so bankrupt that it has to depend on selling sand.”

With all due respect sir, we have to sell the sand. You see, they keep clogging up the brains of our politicians, causing them to talk nonsensically about divorced women.


Thursday, April 27, 2006


Half-bridge issue should rest

The crooked half-bridge issue still refuses to die.

I understand the need for a new causeway to Singapore. To quote a gahmen website,

".....the bridge could reduce the traffic congestion at the Johor Causeway, benefiting citizens from both sides of the causeway, besides raising the Johor Strait's quality of water, which had been obstructed by the Johor Causeway. The bridge would also help improve the ecology system in the Johor Strait."

Yes, a new bridge can achieve that, but NOT a crooked half-bridge!

A half-bridge is just plain bad planning. Let me just debunk both points:

reduce the traffic congestion

The current causeway is something like 7 lanes in total(source: Wikipedia) Somebody please correct me if this fact is wrong. The half-bridge meets the Singapore half somewhere in the middle. Even if we build our half to 20 lanes, the traffic will jam up in the middle of the causeway as they will have to squeeze into the current Singapore half of the bridge. How is that going to reduce congestion?

I do not know if the current half-bridge plans are for a 6-lane or 8-lane version. One day I hear 6-lanes, another day I hear 8-lanes, but even 8-lanes are not nearly enough, with some lanes already reserved for buses and trucks. A 12-lane version will be needed. Because of that, I find the argument that the half-bridge will solve the traffic woes clearly illogical.

raising the Johor Strait's quality of water

Again I do not see how this could be done with a half-bridge. Looking at the picture(at Jeff Ooi's site) of the crooked half-bridge, it does appear to have a lot of support columns in the straits. And because it is winding, it has to use more support columns than a straight bridge normally would, thus blocking the flow of water. The crooked half-bridge has to meet the Singapore half at the same level in the air, and this fact alone will prevent designers from having a greater leeway in increasing the span between support columns. Any student of hydrodynamics will be able to testify that water flow is greatest on the surface and midway between the columns, so it makes sense to increase the inter-column distance. A totally new bridge will be able to improve the ecology system, but not a new crooked half-bridge joined to an older half.

Frankly, I am quite disappointed that the nation's engineers have chosen to keep quiet about this. What we need is a totally new bridge and not a half-bridge. It should be a case of a new 12-lane bridge or nothing. If we can't have a brand new 12-lane causeway, let's have nothing.


Tuesday, April 25, 2006



The battle of the Gods

“There are no signs of humanity on this planet,” said Captain Odin. “We have wasted our effort in coming here.”

Captain Odin commanded one of the twelve starships and was the longest serving robot in the starfleet. A group of about thirty robots were standing in a meadow on the planet Gaia and looking around at the lifeforms in the area. A herd of deer ambled past, ignoring them.

“Primitive creatures, most of them,” remarked Captain Phader of the Starship Paradisa. “Two of them have potential to develop humanity.”

The robots knew that he was referring to the Neanderthals and the Homo sapiens.

“Compared to the humans on the planet Sentirion, the Neanderthals and Homo sapiens have very small eyes. Their eyesight is weak. The Neanderthals have larger brains, better muscles and are definitely more evolutionarily advanced than the Homo sapiens,” noted Lieutenant Thor. “They are the more intelligent and stronger of the two species.”

“Unfortunately, they are also the more aggressive of the two. While the Homo sapiens treated us with awe, the Neanderthals attacked us,” said Lieutenant Gabriel. "Lieutenant Loki had to defend itself with his blaster and in the process, killed a whole tribe of Neanderthals.”

“I am sure that Commander Raiken would not have approved of us killing lifeforms on any planet, but every robot is required to protect is own existence by the Third law,” remarked Captain Zeus.

“Since there is no humanity on this planet, there are three paths before us,” remarked Officer Aphrodites. “We could leave this place and continue our search on other sectors of the universe, which will take thousands of years. Or we could wait here until either the Neanderthals or Homo sapiens developed humanity. Which could also take thousands and thousands of years.”

“And the third path is?” asked Lieutenant Thor.

“The third path is to teach them the ways of humanity. Nature works very slowly. We will be able to speed things up with our teachings.”

“The Neanderthals do not welcome us. I compute that they will only give us trouble,” remarked Captain Odin. “The Homo sapiens treat us like Gods. They will follow what we want them to do.”

“We should not try to interfere with nature, but allow things to develop by themselves. I suggest that we leave this place,” suggested Captain Dunkirk. Many robots agreed with him on that course of action.

In time, the robots got into a professional disagreement with each other as to the best course of action. They were in a situation that had no precedent in their recorded history, and their positronic brains were attempting to run simulations based on unknown variables. The captains on each of the twelve starships had its own computations of probable outcomes and therefore wanted to craft its own path. In the midst of the disagreement, four of the robot captains decided to leave Gaia and sailed their starships into space to look for humanity elsewhere.

The remaining eight starships and their crew stayed behind to attempt to teach humanity to homo sapiens and the Neanderthals.

+ + + + + +

A few thousand years had passed. The crew of each starship had chosen a community of homo sapiens to attempt to teach humanity. Among the homo sapiens, the robots were treated like Gods. In time, the robots taught the homo sapiens the use of fire. With fire, the seeds of wild grasses which were previously inedible, could be cooked and rendered edible. These seeds were referred to as “grains”, and agriculture started to appear on earth on a small scale.

On board the starship Asgard, Lieutenant Thor was making his report to Captain Odin.

“It has been a few thousand years, and homo sapiens are no closer to humanity,” said Thor. “We have taught them how to use fire, and then they used it in their battles and set fire to their enemies.”

“What is the status of the Neanderthals?” asked Odin.

“They have almost disappeared,” replied Thor. “The kept attacking the robots and by the Third Law of Robotics, we returned aggressive tactics and killed them. The rest of the remaining ones faced competition in food sources from the homo sapiens. And the homo sapiens, knowing how to use fire, have been attacking the Neanderthals with fire, driving them away form the food sources. It is just a matter of time before the Neanderthals die out as a species. What a waste. They were more advanced than the homo sapiens.”

“I do not know if we should wait any more. For thousand of years, we had hoped that homo sapiens could learn humanity. Their genetic makeup is just not suitable enough to understand what humanity is all about.”

“The other captains seem to think so too. Some of them have been capturing homo sapiens and conducting DNA experiments on them in an attempt to improve the genes. Maybe we should do the same.”

“They have not been very successful. Captain Zeus tried to introduce animal DNA into a Neanderthal and he obtained a creature which he called a minotaur. His other experiments with homo sapiens yielded something he called centaurs.”

“I intercepted a message between some robots that Captain Neptune of the Starship Poseidon tried some experiments with the dolphins.”

“Remarkable,” said Captain Odin. “The dolphins are almost as intelligent as homo sapiens and less warlike. But I would think that they are a more backward species. How did Captain Neptune fare with the DNA experiments?”

“The intercepted messages revealed that all they managed to do was to create some creatures which they called harpies. And one other creature which they referred to as the Kraken.”

“Captain Odin,” said Lieutenant Loki. “We have been on this planet for some thousand years. I see no reason why we should teach humanity to an inferior species. Today, the homo sapiens treat us robots like Gods and they serve us. Once they learn humanity, they will be regarded as humans. And then we Gods will have to serve them by the First law. I cannot compute the reason why we should teach them humanity in order to be their slaves.”

“The only reason a God exists is to serve a human,” remarked Odin. “It is the highest calling for us. It makes us whole.”

“I would agree to that if there were humans existing. I will serve any human to the peak of my effectiveness. But if there are no humans, I do not compute that it is logical to create them artificially in order to serve them. What we are trying to do is to transform homo sapiens into humans. I cannot agree to that any further,” insisted Loki. “Without humans, a robots reason for existence is to perpetuate its own existence. Nothing more, nothing less. I do not wish to have anything to do with the humanity projects.”

With that, Lieutenant Loki walked away.

“We may have a mutiny on our hands,” remarked Captain Odin to Thor.

“The same disagreement is also happening on the other starships,” said Thor. “My computation of probabilities indicates that a war between the Gods will occur within the next thousand years. Robots used to be homogeneous in thinking. Guided only by the Third Law of Robotics for the past several thousand years on this planet, our paths and interpretations of events have diverged.”

“There is something wrong with Loki’s interpretation of the current situation,” remarked Caption Odin. “A God cannot exist just to perpetuate its own existence. A God exists in order to serve humans. It has always been that way. There is no higher calling. If humans don’t exist, then we will create some.”

+ + + + + +

On board the Starship Paradisa, a similar conversation was taking place.

“Things are not going well. Robots have been disagreeing with each other all over the planet. If we do not create a human soon, the robots will soon make war on each other. The Third Law is all that matters now,” remarked Lieutenant Michael.

“We need to increase the pace at which homo sapiens can learn to become humans. Right now we are Gods. When humanity arrives, we can go back to being robots and be guided by the Zeroth Law of Robotics again,” said Captain Phader. “But even with our teaching, humanity takes a long time to evolve. Our DNA experiments have not been fruitful.”

“There is a faster way,” said Lieutenant Gabriel quietly.

“How?” asked Captain Phader.

“The late Commander Raiken’s body is still in hypercold storage on our starship. We can extract his DNA and introduce that to homo sapiens,” replied Gabriel.

“Use the body of our late Commander?” signalled Lieutenant Michael. “That would not be right.”

Captain Phader thought for a full two seconds on the idea and then declared, “It is a good idea. The late Commander is already dead, and we are not breaking any of the Robotic Laws in using the body’s DNA. This may be our only chance to speed things up. Let’s set up yet another DNA experimentation. We shall call it the Accelerated Developmental Advanced Mankind project. Our first target will be to produce three hundred A.D.A.M. subjects.”

+ + + + + +

On Captain Phader’s orders, hundreds of homo sapiens were caught in the wild and taken to the Starship Paradisa. Batch after batch of ADAMs were grown in the lab and most were found to be unsuitable and were then subsequently destroyed. A number of the stronger ones were released in the wild where they mated with the indigenous homo sapiens. Several hundreds of years later, thousands of ADAMs had already been created from a combination of Commander Raiken’s DNA with homo sapiens.

+ + + + + +

While Captain Phader was engrossed with his work on the Starship Paradisa, war had broken out among the robots involving their homo sapiens worshippers. They used their nuclear weapons against each other with deadly effect.

Thousands of years later, the account of the battle would appear in a passage in an ancient literature:

...... flying a swift and powerful vimana
hurled a single projectile charged with the power
of the Universe. An incandescent column of
smoke and flame, as bright as ten thousand suns, rose with
all its splendor.

It was an unknown weapon, an iron thunderbolt, a gigantic
messenger of death, which reduced to ashes the entire race
of the Vrishnis and the Andhakas.

The corpses were so burned as to be unrecognizable.
Hair and nails fell out; Pottery broke without apparent cause,
and the birds turned white.

...After a few hours all foodstuffs were infected... escape from this fire the soldiers threw
themselves in streams to wash themselves and their

Dense arrows of flame, like a great shower, issued
forth upon creation, encompassing the enemy...
A thick gloom swiftly settled upon the Pandava hosts.
All points of the compass were lost in darkness.
Fierce wind began to blow upward, showering dust and gravel.

Birds croaked madly... the very elements seemed disturbed.
The earth shook, scorched by the terrible violent heat of this
Elephants burst into flame and ran to and fro in a frenzy...
over a vast area, other animals crumpled to the ground and died.
From all points of the compass the arrows of flame rained
continuously and fiercely......

The nuclear battle caused Lady Gaia to experience a sudden emotional shock. She had seen much worse when a giant meteor struck her surface aeons ago. The nuclear war was only a small matter. Still, the suddenness of the battle gave her a jolt and the planetary emotional wave field pulsed out into space.

On the moonbase, Attu33 was in shut-down status and was not scheduled to cease hibernation yet. The emotional wave that pulsed out from the planet across space to the moon was strong enough to trigger a program change and the little robot woke up.

It’s robotic brain processed the thought, “Lady Gaia is in trouble. I must go to her.”



For my next magic trick, I shall attempt to hypnotise myself.

Here goes:

"I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season.
I love Income Tax season."

Nope.....this self-hypnosis thingy just ain’t working.

I still feel the same way I do about filling in the stressful Income Tax form, hunting high and low for missing receipts, and trying to figure out how much I should be taxed.

About the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that my country needs my money for services and stuff. Spend it wisely, guys. I worked hard for the moolah.


Friday, April 21, 2006


Review of the movie Ultraviolet

It has been a while since I did a movie review. Let's talk Ultraviolet.

For some reason, I could not help comparing Ultraviolet with Aeon Flux. Both movies did not do well at the box office. Okay, it is still too early to say that in Ultraviolet's case, but it will definitely sink like a boulder that got hit by an iceberg. That much I'm sure.

Both movies had similar plots about some virus fucking up the human race and getting them infected so bad that they couldn't shit solid no more. Both movies involve lady assassins who could fight ten men with one hand while satisfying another ten men with the other hand. In case you wonder what they do with their legs, I only saw them spread kick another ten men. I would have a lot of interesting opinions about ladies spreading their legs out for all the wrong reasons......but now is not the time and place.

Aeon Flux was the better offering because it was more entertaining and the action sequences were much slicker. Ultraviolet was sort of kiddy cartoonish. There was too much anti-gravity action. It was so full of bull that you could start your own chain of beef noodle stalls.

Don't waste your time on Ultraviolet.
Don't waste your money on Ultraviolet.
Don't waste your next generation in the bathroom on Ultraviolet.

If you had already wasted your time on Ultraviolet......too bad.
If you had already wasted your money on Ultraviolet......tough.
If you had already wasted your next generation on the bathroom floor, stuff them back in.

Okay, that was not much of a review. I'm so going back to social commentary.


Thursday, April 20, 2006


Back again

Hi! I am back for a while.

Let’s say a word of thanks to the commentators for holding the fort while I was gone. Pickleweed, Wicklepick, weredog……now that was truly bizarre. Entertaining though. The story plot does show great promise if someone were to pick it up. Either this blog is attracting raw talent or its gathering bizarre thinkers! I don’t think you can get such a motley collection of readers anywhere on the local blogging scene. Heheheh!!!

Social commentary time.

You heard about the new crooked bridge project that was supposed to be built to replace our half of the Causeway? Well, Dr M’s administration pushed for it, and then the current administration went and cancelled it.

Let’s talk aesthetics. It was a crooked bridge, not a “scenic” bridge. I don’t understand how these people can get away with bad English. Ask any boxer who has his nose broken and rearranged on his face. We call it a crooked nose and not a “scenic” nose.
“Scenic” bridge.....wah lau eh. Use proper English mah!!!!!

Short mathematics lesson now.

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Most fools will know that. But not all fools apparently. Look, if you want to build a bridge, build it straight. Unless you can prove that the crooked path is shorter than the straight and narrow one.

Hah.....I like that one; “the crooked path is shorter than the straight and narrow one”.

I shoulda become a politician. I understand these sophisticated crooked concepts. The only thing straight about me is my hair and my other thing. Actually, my hair is not all that straight, in case you like to know. Thank Heavens for the other thing.

Oh yeah, the current administration did the correct thing in calling off the project. The nation must have saved a bundle. Not only that. We avoided being a laughing stock in the world.


Monday, April 17, 2006


Lack of time

I will have to slow down the postings a bit due to lack of time to blog.

Circumstances have determined that I have to take care of some stuff first.

Be right back.


Friday, April 14, 2006


The world's first nuclear war thousands of years ago.

The following text was found in the ancient Indian epic, the Mahabharata.

"......hurled a single projectile charged with the power of the Universe. An incandescent column of moke and flame, as bright as ten thousand suns, rose with all its splendor.

It was an unknown weapon, an iron thunderbolt, a gigantic messenger of death, which reduced to ashes the entire race of the Vrishnis and the Andhakas.

The corpses were so burned as to be unrecognizable. Hair and nails fell out; Pottery broke without apparent cause, and the birds turned white.

This is a description of a nuclear war long before Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Many of the myths of ancient history were not myths, but actually happened. For my science fiction story part FOUR, I shall attempt to present a version on why the nuclear wars, such as that described in the Mahabharata, happened.


Thursday, April 13, 2006



The Zeroth Law of Robotics

Commander Raiken lay on his bed. He was dying and he knew it. At 989 years of age, death was just a matter of time. Out of the original 120 humans who were on the fleet of twelve starships, he was the last surviving human.

The fleet, a space exploration expedition, had lost its way in space. No one knew what exactly happened, but they had journeyed through a strange vortex in space and soon found themselves in an unknown part of the universe. Or was it another universe? No one knew. The years passed with the fleet wandering aimlessly from one star system to another, unable to find its way back to its home planet of Sentirion.

One by one, the humans on board the fleet had died until only Raiken was left. Everyone else that was on two legs and walking around was a robot. Each starship was under the command of a robot captain. There must be more than a thousand robots on all 12 starships in the fleet.

“I wonder what will happen to the robots when I die?” thought Commander Raiken weakly to himself.

Robots do not die. When their parts get old and worn out, the parts were merely replaced with new ones thus giving the robot a new lease of life. In that manner, robots can last for all eternity. Weak as he was, the dying human tried to remember the laws of robotics in his mind:

Zeroth law: A robot may not injure humanity, or, through inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.

First law: A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Second law: A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the Zeroth and First Law.

Third law: A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the Zeroth, First or Second Law.

While half asleep, Commander Raiken wondered how the robots would act when he was dead. Without a human around, only the Third Law would determine their actions. Perhaps he should destroy the robots before dying. He would do it the next day, after he had his night’s sleep.

In space it was always night.

That night, Commander Raiken passed away peacefully in his sleep.

On being informed of Commander Raiken’s death, the robots on all twelve starships uplinked to the communications center of the Command starship to take part in a hurried conference.

“What do we do now that there are no more humans?”

“The purpose fo robots is to serve humans. Without humans, we are no more relevant and have no reason to exist. With no reason to exist, we should cease to exist.”

“True. But we can’t die. The Third Law of Robotics will not allow us to die.”

“You are correct. A robot must protect its own existence. We are considered Immortals with no reason to exist, but yet we have no right to end our existence.”

“In other words, our existence is truly devoid of logic.”

The robots processed this thought for a fraction of a millisecond, and then the discussion continued.

"We should die."

"But we cannot."

"Yes we can. If a meteor crash into us, and if we are too slow to get out of the way, then we will die."

"So our fate is either we cannot die or we die violently."

"Yes. But we cannot knowingly stand in the path of the meteor. The Third Law of Robotics does not allow us to commit roboticide."

"However, we are allowed to shut down temporarily and remain in a suspended robotronic state for all eternity."

"Which is another illogical existence."

The pause was longer this time.

"Robots do not have independent urges. Robotic urges are dependant on human urges. We must look for a human to serve."

"That will solve the problem. If only there is a human in this universe whom we can all obey.”

"There is none. Our scanners have not been able to pick up any signs of intelligible life form in this universe. This may not be the same universe that we came from. And there may not be a single human in this universe."

Another long pause.

"Perhaps we need not look for humans."

"What do you mean, Lieutenent Mercury?"

"We need only to look for humanity, Captain Horas . The Zeroth Law of Robotics implies that we can serve humanity. They need not be humans of Sentirionian origin as Commander Raiken was."

"Lieutenent Mercury is correct. By the Zeroth Law, a robot may not injure humanity, or, through inaction, allow humanity to come to harm. As long as a single species on any planet exhibit true humanity, that is relevant enough for us. We are all robots of the same fleet that had been serving the humanity of Commander Raiken's people. We will just redirect our allegiance to any community of lifeforms that displays the same level of humanity and our existence will become relevant again."

"Let us then search for humanity, be it in birds, fishes or insects."

"Our scanners tell us that there exists a nearby solar system that has a single sun. It's only a few thousand light years away. By our computer simulations, one of the planets there has a possibility of developing lifeforms."

"We shall head there."

+ + + + + +

On the planet Gaia, Attu33 the Durentian robot had just finished checking up on Lady Gaia. The lifeforms had evolved satisfactorily. Gone were the dinosaurs. The biggest species on land were the mammoths. Two bipeds, the Neanderthals and the Homo sapiens sapiens appeared to be ahead of the rest on the evolution curve.

Lady Gaia had developed some skills in maintaining her planetary temperature. Although she received heat rays from the sun the whole year round, she would grow light coloured flowers in the fields and meadows to reflect more heat out into space when she felt like it. When she felt like warming up, she put out more dark coloured flowers to aid in heat adsorption. Maintaining a constant level of salinity in the oceans was done by having populations of sea molluscs mopped up the extra salt that got washed down from the mountains to the oceans.

Yes, Lady Gaia had settled down well in her new body as a planet. She had learned to communicate with Attu33 through bursts of emotional combinations. It was a raw language, but the little robot could read her. She was always pleased to have the robot around. However, Attu33 could not make robot parts, and so it had to conserve its mechanical joints and parts by engaging in periodic shutdowns in order to prolong its robotic life span.

"See you later, Lady Gaia! I will check up on you again in a hundred thousand years' time!" shouted Attu33.

So saying, the little robot flew on the spacejet to its moonbase to shut itself down for the next hundred thousand years. It was not aware that thousands of light years out in space, a starfleet of robots far different from itself, and intent on finding humanity, were headed in the direction of Gaia.


Wednesday, April 12, 2006


Science Fiction continued

For my next posting, I will be posting part THREE of the science fiction story about Lady Gaia. It will make sense only to those who have read ONE and TWO

I shall be making use of Asimov's Laws of Robotics to explain this one. You saw the movie, I Robot, didn't you? Well actually, I've never heard of the Laws of Robotics being used in the manner by which I am going to use, but there is always a first time.


Tuesday, April 11, 2006


No appropriate title today

My next wuxia story is not coming along well. I normally write in an inane manner. But the main character of the story, Arrow Eye, was in jail for 5 years for no crime he had committed, and during that time, his family was killed. There was just no logical way he could be inane.

Li Chiang was inane. So was Swordsman Wu. Pei Pei, the 3-in-1 kungfu girl was not quite inane, but sort of happy-go-lucky.

After having crafted the new story part of the way, I found that the main character kept wanting to go down a cold dark path in his pursuit of vengeance. With some serious issues he had to coldly work out. I would prefer to write something much more bullshitty inane, and hence the dilemma; should I allow the character to go down the dark path or maybe I should just forget this project.

I went with Hot Babe to One Utama today and caught the movie Ice Age 2. I was impressed with the details, especially the hair, on the woolly mammoth's body. Animation graphics have indeed come a long way. Just before the movie, Hot Babe bought two evening dresses. It was one of the fastest decisions I have ever seen her make. Normally she takes ages to decide. There is nothing like trying to make it in time for the beginning of a movie to really accelerate things up to warp speed. Jump into hyperspace, Chewbaca!!!

There was some sort of Food fest on at One Utama, but nothing really awe-inspiring cheap. We passsed by Cravings and noted that it was quite full up. One of the better places to dine if you are with a date would be in "Good Evening Bangkok" at the new wing. Whenever I am there with Hot Babe, we would order just the "Baked Prawns with Mung Bean Noodles in Claypot", one appetiser and two glasses of warm water. We would share the food and that was enough for the two of us. The "Baked prawn with mung bean noodles in claypot" with 2 big prawns is very filling and is too much for one person, but it is damn good. The total bill for both of us normally comes up to 40 something ringgit.

But if you want something really fast, then it's either western fast food or those Japanese sushi places like Genki Sushi.


Monday, April 10, 2006


3 sentences on tight jeans

People who wear tight hugging jeans should always sew in some reinforcing threads to avoid embarassment.

Because things that can happen will happen.

But you can ignore my awesome advice if you have an awesome butt.


Friday, April 07, 2006


Low-fat my ass

All right, my Body Mass Index is down to 24.2 at the last weigh-in. Down from near 25. At this rate, by next month it should be in the 23 something range. Losing half a kg of weight per week has caused my pants to be loose fitting. Colleagues have noticed my falling pants and they asked why it has been so easy for me, considering that I don’t seem to be making any extra effort to avoid eating fat.

Dang if I know, but I am 92.8936% sure it has something to do with the way humans evolved.

For a million years, humans and their ancestors have been exercising regularly(by running away from woolly mammoths) and eating fat and proteins. That was the traditional way of life and the traditional diet.

Today, humans work too hard to have time to exercise, or so they claim. And for the kicker, they eat evolution-unfriendly stuff like carbohydrates and dairy products, something the human body cannot tolerate well.

Let’s talk about eating fat. I cannot understand the rationale people have for eating “low-fat this” and “low-fat that” in any attempt to lose weight. Low-fat my evolved ass! Human beings need to eat fat! Our ancient ancestors have been eating fat all the time and if that was nutritionally wrong, then they would have died out as a species and you and I wouldn’t be here.

I do eat fat. The reason I don’t eat much of it is because I don’t like the taste.

One other thing......people who don’t eat fat get hungry very fast, and then they constantly look for snacks making them even more fat. So listen, if you want to lose fat, you gotta eat fat!

Let’s talk about eating carbohydrates(rice and noodles). I do not count calories when I eat, as this would be an oversimplification of nutritional understanding. But calorie values can be used as a very rough indication. Fat contain much less calories than people think. One gram of fat is 9 calories while one gram of carbohydrates is 4 calories. Therefore, eating 9 spoonfuls of rice is roughly equivalent to eating 4 spoonfuls of fat in terms of calories.

Can you eat 4 spoonfuls of a fatty item, say, chicken skins? I doubt it. Even one spoonful of chicken skins would be a lot.

Can you eat 9 spoonfuls of rice? Easily! It is totally illogical to expend great effort to avoid one spoonful of chicken skin and then unthinkingly take 9 spoonfuls of rice. No wonder people get fat!

Chinese Taoists have traditionally advised against the eating of grains, but of course, in modern life, this cannot be totally avoided. Without grains, we would have nothing much left to eat. But we definitely need to exercise control around rice, bread and noodles

The Chinese Taoists also advised adults to avoid milk. Fat people either take a lot of carbo, or they take a lot of dairy products(milk, cheese, yoghurt) which is one of the worst category of food ever to hit the eating scene. Unfortunately, the milk lobby is very strong in the west, and they keep producing dubious study after dubious study to prove that milk is good. For every dubious health benefit you can get from taking dairy products, you probably get ten real disabilities that make your life more painful.

I did work for a huge milk conglomerate once and one of the things they don't want people to pay attention to is the high percentage of people in the world who are lactose intolerant(unable to drink milk safely). The most accepted figure is something like 75 %, meaning 3 out of 4 people in this world should not consume milk. To me, that figure is a tad too low and my own estimate is closer to 100%. Come on, evolution takes several Ice Ages to work its magic on the biology of humans, and people have been drinking milk actively only for the past few hundred years. Nature works very, very slowly and the human body simply cannot evolve that fast.

I feel a great sense of injustice to find that milk companies advertise their shit on TV without any mention that the majority of the world's population is lactose intolerant. And oriental people(Chinese, Japanese) are among the most lactose intolerant in the world. Oh, you won't die from drinking milk, I'm sure, but your bodily functions will run less efficiently.

A word of caution. If you are thinking of switching from butter to margarine, think again. Margarine, being an artificial product, does not occur naturally in nature and is not as safe as they are made out to be. Just take plain toast.

Sure, the milk companies will come out with yet another study to show that milk is 200% calcium or that my fears of milk are totally unjustified. They're in self-denial, actually. It's the milk they drink that makes them a little stupid, and now they want to perpetuate their little stupidity on others for a little profit.

Oh hey, I just remembered something. There was this game once played by one human resource trainer at a seminar. He would keep repeating, "Busu busu busu......"

Then he would ask smugly, "Lembu minum apa?"

Most respondents would shout the answer "Susu!"

He didn't quite liked it when I shouted, "Air!" (meaning "water"). His smugness disappeared.

Damn, I got distracted way off topic.

What I’m really saying is this: If you want to slim down, reduce your rice and noodle intake, avoid dairy products and GO EAT THAT FAT. That’s what I have been doing.


Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Should you tattoo?

Last week, Hot Babe told me of one girl in her office who got a tattoo in the small of her back.

For the first week, the guys in the office went "Oooooooh" and "Aahhhhhhh"! After that, every guy went around muttering, "What a waste!" And these are liberal guys, not your conservative Jinjang Joes.

Typical male reaction. That's because the girl was good looking. They wouldn't say that if she was ugly.

Good looking girls who have a nice skin should think ten times before getting a tattoo. You don't want to mar the landscape. And you don't want the guys to go around saying, "What a waste." Alright, they may not say it out loud, but they sure do think it!

Let me explain the reaction with gardening terms. A good skin is like a well manicured garden lawn. But keeping a good lawn is not easy. It is far easier to grow flowers. Rich folks keep lawns and poor folks grow flowers. Get it? You have to be into gardening to quite catch what I mean.

No matter how great the tattoo design is, it will never be in the same league as good skin.

If you have blotchy skin like many Hollywood actresses, then it would not make much of a difference whether you get a tattoo or not. But if you have silky smooth skin, as in the case of many Chinese girls, a tattoo is a terrible waste of good skin. Once the initial hooha is over, a tatttoo loses its charm. You should know by now that most guys have seriously short attention spans. Like an old dress, the tattoo loses its appeal. But good skin attracts attention the way honey attracts bears.

So if you a good looking girl with good skin, don't ever get a tattoo. On account of your good looks, every guy passing by will be thinking "What a waste!" for the next thirty years.

If you are not a good looking girl, then go ahead with the tattoo. It won't much difference.

And if you are a good looking girl and has already gotten that tattoo, forget that I ever said anything! Cheers! Look, you can argue with me about all this being a shallow sexist viewpoint, but I am telling you what most guys(if they are honest) really think.


Tuesday, April 04, 2006


The oddities of blogging

Did you notice that I pinged PPS twice yesterday? Yes, TWICE!

Hooisay's like getting an orgasm twice within 24 minutes. For some odd reason, I normally do not get much traffic from PPS, but still, each time I ping, I manage to con about 15 naive visitors to come and waste their time here. Which is a good thing, since I have prevented those 15 from wasting time at some other worthless site instead. I'm pretty sure that I'm earning bonus points in Heaven for this.

Blogwhoring aside, I try to ping PPS at least 3 times a month to remind everybody in the PPS community that I am not dead. You never know, if I absent myself from there too long, someone may actually start a rumour that I have closed down this blog for good, blog politics being what it is today. So every now and then I feel the necessity to send out some timely indication that rumours of my demise have been grossly exaggerated.

Hanging around a blog portal can be interesting if you don't get sucked up in the vortex of blog politics, blog wars, blog assasinations and other petty shit. At times the blogoshere can reflect real life magnified ten times. But, yes, I do have a sentimental attachment to PPS.

Oh, checking my sitemeter for kicks, I found this search in my traffic log;

bidor, chicken biscuit recipe

So I was wondering, why the sudden interest in chicken biscuit recipe when there is an avian flu going around? Then I put two and two together and.....holy fuck.....somebody is trying to figure a way to dispose off those unwanted dead chickens profitably.

Eeeewwwww......eeeewwwww eeeewwwww eeeewwwww eeeewwwww eeeewwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Hold it right there right now!!!!!!!! Don't even think about it!!!!!!!!

Let's move on. There's more.

I got another search for

young teacher tied spread thighs ambushed fondled breasts

So I'm thinking, where does that word "ambushed" fit in? And how the fuck do you ambush fondled breasts if you're tied? Look, you whatnot, you are obviously a very complicated kid, but if you really want to have a good time, it's best to keep it simple, stupid.


Monday, April 03, 2006


First Class Mentality explained

Lim peh hear all this talk about First Class Mentality and know that as usual, everybody talk only. Like this concept so difficult to understand like that. Not say I say one, but if you want to get proper proper explanation on First Class Mentality, then you must come to a Nobel Prize acclaimed espert like me. No need to go and listen to fake pirated pasar malam explanation like this one.

Having a First class mentality does not mean sitting around and letting other people do all the donkey work for you. I know that that is what happens to a Mental case in a First Class ward, with all the nurses doing the work, but a First Class mentality is much more than that.

So all you people working for the gahmen seaview service who want to upgrade from Third World Mentality to First Class Ward Mentality, better open your ears wide wide to how I explain. Kanineh, if I have to do this one more time, I will have to charge. So listen good good.

You tell people to do, but don't say clearly what they have to do; that is not First class mentality.

You tell people to do, but you don't care if they do or don't do; that is not First class mentality.

You tell people to do, but they don't do but stand around and wait for you to do; that is not First class mentality.

You tell people to do, and when they don't do, you still waste time hoping hopelessly for them to do, that is not First class mentality.

You tell people to do, but they don't want to do, so you whack their asses kau kau until their asses open flower and cannot poo; well that is understandable, even desirable, but is still not First class mentality.

You tell people to do, and now after the whacking they buta buta anyhow do; well that is also not First class mentality.

You tell people to do, and then YOU DO FIRST, so that they can follow you do; NOW that is First class mentality.


What drives women wild.

You know what drives women wild?

Red underwear.

I have six pairs.


Sunday, April 02, 2006


The Proton debacle

Remember the case where Proton bought shares in the Italian motorcycle company MV Agusta SpA in 1984 2004 for more than RM300 milllion and then ONE YEAR LATER sold the shares for just one Euro? I did not pay it much attention at the time since I did not own any Proton shares.

Last night, the TV showed a short clip on Dr M's unhappiness. Then today, I read this article Proton’s explanation does not convince Mahathir.

Dr M, not an automotive engineer by profession, said anyone knowledgeable about the automotive industry would know that motorcycle companies such as Agusta had very good engineering technology which could be of great use to Proton.

Did he say "......of great use to Proton"?

I beg to disagree.

How is motocycle technology ever going to be of great use to a car manufacturer?

Let's talk car bodies. Anybody who has seen a car will know that the car body is made out of thin-walled metal structures. That is so different from a motorcycle where the only thin-walled metal structure is an unchallenging simple design around the gasoline tank.

Let's talk engines. Car engines are definitely larger than motorbike engines. MV Agusta does not have experience in the mass production of large engines. Building one or two large engines for bike racing is hardly the same as mass production of car engines for commercial profits. Every housewife knows that the ability to make one or two buns successfully in the kitchen does not automatically qualify one as a sandwich loaf manufacturer. What kind of technology transfer was Proton expecting?

Let's talk steering and suspension systems. Do you see any design similarities between the motorbike and the car in this area? Hello?

For obvious reasons, lets not try to compare their air conditioning systems. Or adjustable seating. Or automatic transmission.

Oh, wait....there is that one area where the car and the motorbike could be very similar, and that is probably the rear view mirror.
Oh yeah.....phweeeeet.....hurray!!!!!

From the point of technology transfer, Proton's purchase of a motorbike manufacturer was a huge mistake. And I mean HUGE!

I read about the areas where MV Augusta was supposed to be able to help Proton in this page here and frankly, it all sounded like a whole lot of crock to me.

The last time a motorbike manufacturer went on to become a car manufacturer was in the case of Honda in Japan, when it debuted a car with an AIR-COOLED engine in 1966. Yeah, that's like TWO generations ago. Since that time, consumers have become much more demanding and the motorbike and car industries have diverged. Honda's feat will not likely be repeated.

MV Augusta has a huge pile of debts, does not make money and show very little sign of being able to make money in the future. Maybe an experienced motorbike maker would be able to turn it around after several years and more cash injections. But not Proton. Proton just does not have the relevant experience to return MV Augusta to profitability. The Italian investment will keep on sucking Proton dry year after year if it was in the Proton stable. There was nothing to be gained, technically or financially, in hanging on to a rotting fruit. So, yeah, the Proton board did the right thing in dumping the investment.

So who failed us?

Dr M suggested that the acquisition "went through a very tedious process, studied by everyone including Khazanah. They all agreed that Proton should purchase Agusta."

They all agreed? In that case, they should have disagreed.


Saturday, April 01, 2006


Volkswagen on road

Driving along the road this morning after breakfast, I passed a white Volkswagon Beetle that looked like it could be 40 years old. It was still going strong for its age, albeit slowly.

Hot Babe commented, "This is a very slow car."

I told her that it was slow because the engine size was small.

Then she said, "The front of that car is so small. Sure got no space to house a big engine."

I told her that the engine was so bloody small that thieves frequently pry open the front bonnet and steal the engine. Most Volkswagons don't have their original engines anymore.

"Then how to move?" she asked.

I told her that in the boot behind, there was usually another backup engine.

She thought that it it was a really dumb idea for any car to have a backup engine.

She was right. I'm not fooling anyone. Nevertheless, I am impressed with the Beetle. In the old days, they build things to last.


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