Stepping aside for Reality

I seldom watch the TV show 'Smalleville'. But on Sunday, I left it on the TV and then I heard this phrase on the show:
"Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast."

That's "breast", and not "beast".

I have never ever been attacked by a savage breast. The women I meet are not overly aggressive. Definitely not the type to slap your face with their breasts while moaning, "Take that...and that....and that!"

* Swooooosh.......piak........kerplunck !!! *

But if they were that aggressive, the first thing to do is to switch off the music. I don't want the music to slow down the momentum of the attacks, do I?

Don't worry about my poor face. It's thick-skinned enough to withstand such attacks. That's because my face has been getting lots of free facial Shaolin training when I was young. Don't you believe all those stories that I was getting slapped because I had been a naughty boy. It was all part of the facial Shaolin training because my parents and teachers feared for the day when I would be attacked by savage breasts.

Well, now I am ready.

Oh, savage breasts, where art thou?

Maybe I should watch less TV.

The fact that people would pay $28,000 for a 10-year-old, partially eaten cheese sandwich thought to be embedded with the image of the Virgin Mary gave me some great ideas. This development has potential, if you know what I mean.

So yesterday, while I was toasting my bread for breakfast, I examined it carefully to see if I could find the picture of any famous person on it. On my first round of toasting, I couldn't see much. But a brown shape was definitely forming. I was encouraged to carry on further.

So I toasted it again. After that, I could see a dark patch forming on the bread. I thought that maybe I could call it "Ghandhi, before he went bald."

Now, that ought to fetch a decent price. I'm a fucking genius.

If toasting it twice was good, then toasting it three times would probably be much, much better. So I popped the long suffering slice of bread in the toaster one more time(honest!). And left it in there longer. Very much longer. When it was done, I took one look at it and decided that the only appropriate title would be:
"A very dark couple making love furiously in a very dark room."

Any bids?

A more sober posting today.

This news report from yesterday's one-star two-bit publication showed some rather unusual behaviour from dolphins.

It is unusual because dolphins are afraid of sharks. Don't believe all those myths and movies about sharks avoiding dolphins. A dolphin is part of a shark's diet. Dolphin researchers have reported that one lone shark crusing into the waters is enough to scatter a pod of dolphins. And it does not have to be a Great White Shark. Many dolphins in the wild, bear scars caused by shark encounters. These are the lucky ones that managed to escape the jaws of death.

Thus, I find the behaviour of the Whangarei dolphins rather strange. They must be having some kind of spiritual connection with one of the lifeguards to cause them to feel protective. Animals can at times behave like guardian angels. Sometimes, when I am in the presence of a certain animal displaying unusual behaviour, I do get the feeling that it was more than just an animal. That it appeared because of a certain human need. Spooky, but comforting, in a way.

This Monday's post on bras trawled in some new information from the comments section.

"La Perla"
"La Senza"

Now I know two more bra brands. Not that this helps my educational level in any way, but one never knows.

Before this, I only have heard of Triumph. Oh wait, there's Wacoal too. They have a factory in Thailand. My female colleagues would flock to Hat Yai to buy Wacoal bras.
Very cheap, they say.
So cheap that they can afford to wear two together at once, they say.
One in front, one behind, they say.

Idiotic name for a bra, though. I even wrote a song about it:

I heard that Wacoal's cheap,
Can buy it by the heap.
I wanted just a few,
To light my barbecue.

The salesgirl said, "Dear sir!
Just why are you so blur?
Please understand that Wacoal
Is not a brand of charcoal."

Haven't been able to sing it yet, though. Maybe, I'll just rap.

Present for the girl who can do everything.

Running out of brilliant ideas on what to get for your superwoman girlfirend this Christmas? You know, the type who is the "been there, done that" kind of gal?

Well, you can give a whole new peeing experience. This simple little "Magic cone" allows her to pee standing up. Now she can enter the men's room with you without any problems. Yeeee Haa!!! Think about the time she can save instead of queueing up for the ladies toilet in the shopping malls.

Oh, of course it may be a lot cheaper to buy her a rubber stopper instead, you cheapskate.

The worse thing that can happen to a guy during a shopping trip is to get stuck in the ladies' lingerie section. Over the weekend, I went with Hot Babe to a shopping mall. Then inside Isetan, she wanted to look at some T-shirt bras. So I went with her lor. I told Hot Babe that maybe I could go to the gents department to look-see look-see while she tried on the bras but she said that "she very fast one" and therefore I should wait for her. When a woman says that "she very fast one", don't you fucking believe it.

Hot Babe sure took her own sweet time trying on the bras while I stayed around there waiting for her to come out of the changing room. And I was the only guy in the lingerie section, so I guess I must have stuck out like a sore thumb. For some reason, I tried to avoid the eyes of all the salesgirls and lady customers. My imagination ran riot and I thought they were smirking behind my back. I was surrounded by bras everywhere. There was nothing to do. Nothing, except to think of a knocker's joke.

Knock knock
Who’s there
Don’t chew
Don’t chew who?
Don’t chew think my knockers are size 34C?

Hot Babe tried on a few models and finally settled on two bras. When she finally paid for her purchase, I was dumbfounded. How can a bra cost more than a hundred ringgit each? It's not that it takes very much cloth to make a bra. If I am a woman, and I have to pay more than a hundred ringgit for a bra, I would rather go braless. Serious! Gee, the profit margin for such items must be really high. I should become a bra manufacturer. Sure to become obscenely rich in no time.

Now this is a bloody good article on how to write job application letters from the one-star publication. I have seen some really funny application letters written by Malaysians that need major editing. Editing? More like a major rewrite. Actually, getting a job is not that difficult in this country. Getting a substantial raise is another matter.

Wokay....here's our related story for today.....

A pretty teenaged girl has been working in a brush factory for a few years. Then one morning, the girl found some pubic hair growing around her vagina area. As the weeks went by, the few strands of pubic hair started turning into a bush. So she thought, "This is bad! I have been working in a brush factory for too long, and now a brush is growing around my cheebai!" The next morning, she marched into her boss's office, and had this conversation:

Girl : Boss, I want to resign!

Boss : Why? You got better offer, is it?

Girl : No lah boss. I got serious medical condition!

Boss : What serious medical condition?

Girl : My cheebai turning into a brush!

Boss : What! Where can cheebai turn into a brush, one?

Girl : You want me to show you, ah, boss?

Boss : Okay, show me!

* Girl stood up and lifted up her skirt, and showed the patch of pubic hair between her legs. *

Girl : Lookit that, boss?

Boss : Wow! Nice bush!

Girl : See what I mean? I have been working in this stoopid brush factory for too long! Now I have a stoopid brush growing on my body also!

Boss : Aiyaaahh......that one everybody also got!

Girl : You mean, everybody got stoopid brush?

Boss : Of course!

Girl : Don't bluff lah! You got or not?

* Boss unzipped his pants and showed off his pubic hair to the girl. *

Boss : See! I also got!.

Girl : Ya orh....boss....you also got!

Boss : Sure lah, that one natural only mah!

Girl : Boss, you work here long long time already, ah, boss?

Boss : Yes, why do you ask?

Girl : Because your brush got long handle already, boss!

Boss : That one not brush handle lah. That one is called "organ".

Girl : Organ or piano, I don't care, man. I am resigning before I sprout one of those.

Boss : Don't resign lah. Tell you what, I raise your salary to RM100 more per month, okay?

Girl : No! I want more!

Boss : I give you medical benefit also.

Girl : What for I want medical benefit?

Boss : In case you grow a brush handle, our company doctor will remove it for free.

Girl : Like that is on, man!

Boss : Are you happy now?

Girl : Oh yes, very happy! Uhhh......boss?

Boss : What?

Girl : I think your handle is growing bigger and bigger every second. Why it can grow so fast, uh?

* Boss hurriedly zipped up his pants. *

Boss : Ahem! Now, you get back to work!

* Girl walked to the door, paused, and then turned around to speak in a voice loud enough for everybody to hear. *

Girl : Boss, just now ahhh.....I saw your brush also got two rollers. Your one hi-tech one ah, boss?

Boss : GIT BACK TO WORK!

* End of story. *

Frankly, I don't think this method can work for the guys. Maybe you can say, "Boss, my handle is growing faster than yours, Can I have a raise?" Naaahhhh......that wouldn't work.

I've just realised something of supreme importance. Today is Thursday and tomorrow is Friday. This is a short work week. Ahhh.......I can feel the energy seeping back slowly into my zonked-out mind. Suddenly, life is worth living again. I am happy once more. So happy that I am willing to stop snarling ferociously at my workmates before they start to call me a VIP(Very Irritating Prick) behind my back. Those befuddled dipshit whiners are even more zonked-out than I am. That's what long weekends do to decent folks.

Now that I am getting my shit together, let's have some news commentary.

One local paper has reported that the infamous Jelapang toll plaza will be shifted at a cost of 260 million ringgit. Pardon me, but isn't that a lot of money to shift some stupid toll plaza. Do the authorities have any idea how many long years it will take to recover back the RM260 mil from toll recipts for such a short stretch of road? For that kind of money, you may as well let the rakyat use that stretch for free. Forget about building a new toll plaza, I say. Save the RM260 mil and then let us use that stretch without toll. Everbody wins. Except the contractors who are hoping for the RM260 million contract.

The cause of Arafat's death is still being debated widely. Many arabs believed that he was poisoned. However, the French Health Minister has already ruled out poisoning. There are many stories on the internet that suggested that Arafat had aids or even cancer. The most bizarre theory is probably this one which looks into the question of whether France killed Arafat. The latest report has it that Arafat died of liver problems. Don't you find it strange that nobody seems to think that Arafat died of old age? Come on, the man was already 75. Speculations about his death or even his sexual preferences are not helpful. He is dead. Let him go in peace.

Read the bit on "Burglars cart off 100kg safe with RM130,000" yesterday. Imagine leaving so much money in a 100kg safe. Three strong men can lift up 100kg and place it in a van or pickup within two minutes without problems. Anybody would have thought that the management would have used a heavier safe and bolted it down to the concrete floor for good measure. That's the other thing about long weekends.......criminal minds love them.

Oh, I'm planning my weekend already.

Raya came and went. So it's back to the daily grind again. Looking at the dazed zombies who turned up for work this morning, I thought that perhaps there ought to be a better way to earn a living. In a moment of inspired thinking, I discovered that the "maximum pay for minimum effort" category is suitable for me. Really!

Here's something I may consider in case I get tired of my current job. A successful male porn star can earn $100,000 a year doing what I normally do for free. Now, is that a dream job or what?

Still, the bit about "95 percent of guys who audition in the adult industry can't keep up with the workload" is making me rethink this shit. You mean, there is workload involved? I think I'll stick to my current job a while longer.

TV channel 8TV gave us a huge overdose of Malaysian Idol over the Raya Holidays. Some of the clips on early MI auditions were shown. There was even a clip of a male masseuse who tried to advertise himself on TV by giving his handphone number. But of course, 8TV blanked out the number. Damn! Give him a chance to advertise his wares, mah!

One of my friends recognised somebody who lived in the same flats as him auditioning for MI on TV and told me that “…. the idiot could not sing. Dunno why he bother to audition.…”

I think the reason why so many hopeless singers audition for Malaysian Idol is because opportunities for fame are few and far between. If a show like Malaysian Idol appears, young people will have to grab the opportunity. Who knows how far they can go? It is better to aim for the moon and hit a mountain.

On 8TV yesterday night, Jien, the Malaysian Idol co-host, made a big hoo-ha about the errors made by judge Paul Moss in selecting potential winners. Paul Moss has not been afraid to admit his mistakes on TV, which is perhaps why he has managed to retain credibility among the viewers.

There is always a certain amount of subjectivity in judging singing. Each of us is biased against certain songs, or certain ways of delivering a song. For instance, I do not like too much note-bending in a song because it detracts from the melody, and so I tend to be biased against singers who indulged in endless note-bending until the song is unrecognisable. Yes, I can be biased. Those of you who have been following this blog may remember the comment that Paul Moss made in my post of Oct 09, 2004 Malaysian Idol Finals, when he said that he "detected a a faint whiff of bias" in my posting. Heheheh! I am not going to deny that!

But wait….this post is about aiming for the moon and hitting a mountain. The world is full of fools aiming for the moon. Those fools who put in half-hearted tries are unlikely to hit mountains. But those who are committed enough to do it, may just hit a mountain. Then they’ll be the ones laughing at us, and shouting, "Nyah! Nyah! Nyah! ". I won't begrudge them their bragging rights, since they were willing to go ahead and "do it".

As my shorty alien friend, Yoda, has this to say about trying;
"Do or do not, there is no try."

Most of my collegues are away either for Deepavali, Hari Raya or maybe Christmas. I thought the company may declare a company holiday since there is nothing to do with so many people away. But no such luck.

There's nobody to check on us to see if we are working or not. Of course we are not! A colleague suggested that we should go to town, go shopping, see show, then come back to the office at 5 o'clock to clock out. Dumb idea. If we go to town, we would not be coming back at 5 o'clock to clock out. May as well take leave.

Then I wrote this haiku.

"Got nothing to do.
Collegue said we should ponteng.
I honked the fucker."

Hope you are getting your supply of muruku today.

If not, never fear.
‘Iron Chef’ Viewtru is here.

What you can do is to take a packet of Maggie mee.
Pound it into smaller pieces.
Then fry ‘em.
It should taste like muruku.
If it does not, don’t complain.
You were the one who did not get yourself invited to an Indian house today.

But hey....Happy Deepavali!

So, we are going to produce some more world class athletes, are we? Yeah, 15 cabinet ministers have decided that we are going to excel in the world in sports. They actually had a meeting on it. Very important stuff going on.

To quote the article:

"Eight sports have been identified by the government to receive special aid to achieve excellence on the world stage."

And what are the eight sports that the National Sports Council has identified?

They are: badminton, bowling, gymnastics, aquatics, hockey, squash, athletics, and football.

Now this is rich. What this report means is that we are going to throw lots of money into these eight sports to achieve excellence. Again. With our money of course. Is there anything new here that we have not done in the past? Did we not throw money before in these areas? Did we not go around building badminton halls and football fields? And did we not build a new swimming pool that was not fit for international competitions because it was constructed too short? Hello? Couldn't we hire somebody who knows how to use a tape measure? Of course we have thrown money before! Nothing new in that!

I would have expected the National Sports Council to try something new, like identifying some new sport that we have not concentrated on before. The logical thing to do is to study our strengths and weaknesses. Then figure out the sports where we can make use of our strengths. Which was what I did.

What are we good at? Speed obviously. Nobody seems to be able to catch the illegal motorcycle racers at night. So obviously there is a large pool of talent in motorbike riders. We need to channel all these unhealthy activities into something good for the nation.

The trouble is that everything moves slowly officially. But very fast unofficially. If not for underground activities, we may not even move at all. So another area where we have shown promising talent is in "underground activities".

So I input all these factors into my privately-owned supercomputer. And it did some pretty nifty calculations to come up with the sport in which we can be the best in the world: Underwater Motorcycle Racing.
WTF? This sport hasn't been invented yet.

Wait, maybe my supercomputer is not working properly. Let me try another approach.

*Kicks supercomputer*

No change. It's still "Underwater Motorcycle Racing".

Oh never mind.

Here's wishing you a Happy Deepavali tomorrow, everybody!

Ah, Deepavali and Hari Raya are approaching. As usual, every Raya, I would bring one bag of rambutans and visit my aunt, who is a Malay. I cannot remember why or when I first started bringing rambutans to her but it has become sort of traditional already. My aunt is a sweet lady with grown up kids. She doesn't ask any embarassing questions about my life. But she sure can't cook.

I won't say that her cooking is bad. "Plain" is probably a better description. She will cook mediocre curry chicken, beef rendang, ketupat, and very little else. And her ketupat is the easy-to-make 'Nona' brand ketupat from the supermarket. It is thus not surprising that whenever I visit her for Raya, I eat very little. But I love to explore her garden. Her plants are all so haphazardly arranged that you can never tell what's behind the next pot. And every Raya, I would take back some strange plant from her garden to grow at home.

I do notice that she does not seem to have many relatives visiting her for Raya. Maybe it's because of her cooking. Either that, or they visit only when I am not around. Which is good, because I make it a habit to avoid relatives. But that's just me.

A word about my eating habits. I don't eat beef. It is a family culture with a lot of Chinese families that we do not eat beef. However, I have no problems with other people eating beef at the same table with me. As long as they don't try to persuade me to take beef, they can eat what they like. Therefore, I don't have a problem when I sit down to a Raya meal with my aunt and beef rendang is served.

Occasionally, some other guests of my aunt would scoop some beef rendang and put it on my plate, not knowing that I do not eat beef. This puts the thing in a whole new situation. I knew that if I remove the beef rendang, nobody else would eat it since it had already been mixed with the saliva on my plate. It would end up being thrown away uneaten. In this case, I would have to follow the 'Law of the Greater Sin'. In my family, eating beef is sinful, but I think that wasting food is even more sinful. In such a situation, I would have to eat the beef. I reckon that the cow is already dead, and not eating it will not bring it back to life. So into my mouth it goes. Yup, I can do that without throwing up. Having seen a bit about the truth of the universe helps.

But enough about beef rendang. I would be visiting friends next week for Raya. There is a particular friend of mine who serves nasi dagang for Raya. Her curry tuna is hot and chunky, the way I like it. I never did ask why she serves nasi dagang for Raya since I know that she doesn't come from the east coast states where this is popular. Another friend of mine is known for serving very good laksa Johor for Raya. Now this I understand, since his family is from Johor. And yeah, I remember my friends by the food they serve. Call me shallow.

Harry told me the most irreverent pickup lines he heard this weekend.

"When the Lord made you, He must have been showing off."

I bet this one will work on all the religious babes.

Hey, I hope that was how we were created.
When the Living Universe became us, It was showing off!
Man, all of a sudden, I feel good.
Like feeling infinite space and eternal energy at the tips of my fingers.

This post is rated 18-SX. If you are underaged or a brain-farting conservative, please leave this site immediately.

Everywhere I go, folks are moaning over the fact that Bush got re-elected. Why are there so many Kerry supporters around? It seems like the only non-Americans pleased with the results are the Iranian people.

Hey, come on, does it really matter who got elected? Of course not! America is run by the Senate and Big Business. The whole system thrives on lobbies. So enough with the moaning and whining already! Get on with your lives!

Some of you are clearly suffering from the Agony Syndrome caused by Bush’s re-election. Luckily for most of you, there is a cure. What you really need is B.R.E.A.S.T., which stands for Bush Re-Election Agony Syndrome Treatment.

If you are not entitled to vote, because you are not an American citizen, but just an ordinary KPC needlessly agonizing away on the re-election of Bush, go get some B.R.E.A.S.T..

If you are a blogger, still blogging away on how illogical the re-election of Bush was, go get some B.R.E.A.S.T. this weekend. I hope your treatment is successful.

If you are a retired politician, and you had asked the American people to elect Kerry, and found that they elected Bush instead, stop your whining. The Americans did not listen to your motor mouth while you were in office, so why should they listen to you now? You should have gotten used to that little fact by now. And go get some B.R.E.A.S.T., although at your age, I’m not sure if it can do anything for you.

If you are a young 18-year old virgin girl and you found that on the morning after Bush got himself re-elected, your tiny fuzz turned into a hairy bush, and you somehow think that this has something to do with Bush’s re-election…….well, let me tell you that it’s not his fault.
No, you don’t have to grab some B.R.E.A.S.T.. The problem is untreatable.
But you can recite this little verse for a greater understanding of the real issues:

“My fuzz turned into a hairy bush
When Bush got re-elected.
And every time I shake my tush
The guys get all erected.

But Viewtru says it’s not the deed
Of either Bush or Kerry.
He says I’ve grown, and I may need
To watch out for my cherry.”

Have a great weekend ahead, everybody!

It was Conscious of Itself.
It knew it was Space. Infinite, without beginning and without end.
It knew It was Energy, that which cannot be created nor destroyed.
It knew It was alone, the only Being there was.
Alone, unmoving, existing forever, and unable to die.
And It knew It would be this way through all eternity, alone, existing forever, and unable to die.

That was the way It was.
With no beginning and no end.
It just was.
And it existed, without rhyme nor reason.
Motionless, It laid. For It had no reason to move.

Call It dead, yet It lives.
Call it living, yet It moves not.
It’s existence was both motionless and meaningless.

Then came a point when It decided that It would not exist this way.
So It moved.
It’s energies streaked at the speed of light throughout Itself.
And with the motion, time was born.

(Viewtru’s note: Students of the Theory of Relativity will understand that time, not being absolute, cannot exist without speed. For time to exist, there has to be motion. Think of the car as the universe, and the odometer as time. Only when the car/universe moves, the odometer/time moves.)

And the Infinite One thought to Itself, ”With Me, there is no beginning, nor ending. For I am infinite Space. I am all things that are, and I can do all things that will be done, except die. For I am the Energy that cannot be created nor destroyed.”

Thus It seeked to create that which can be born and die, out of that which cannot be born and die.

It spake to Itself, “I will become a universe, where all things have a beginning and an end, that I may experience birth and death. Out of that which has no beginning and no end, I will create organic forms that have beginnings and ends. And I will become the stars and the planets, the birds and the fishes, the trees and the frogs, the bats and the butterflies, the humans and the monkeys. In all things, there will be Me, for nothing can exist except for Me.”

Thus the Divine Energy of the One divided like cells into the stars and the planets, the birds and the fishes, the trees and the frogs, the bats and the butterflies, the humans and the monkeys. And the One became the ten trillion things and more.

And all of them have a beginning and an end, except for the Divine Energy that formed the molecules that formed all things.

And the Infinite One saw what It had become, and said, “This is good. Now I will experience that which I have been unable to experience before: beginning and end. With this, My Existence has meaning.”

And when the organic forms known as humans were imbued with independent thought, they started to worship different religions and different versions of the Infinite One.

And the Infinite One said, "The humans. They think they exist, but they do not. For everything is Me. They are only thought processes that say, "I think, therefore I am." They are but thought concepts. Is it too difficult to understand that everything is Me?"

And it came to pass, that on one particular day, the Infinite One became me, to blog on a short history of the Infinite One. This I have done.

I dropped by a pasar ramadan yesterday at around 5:30 p.m. I normally don't like to go too early because of the traffic jam and limited parking spaces. After 7 p.m. is ideal because most of the crowd have already gone and the parking spaces are more available. Not only that, you can sometimes get good bargains if the stall operator is in a hurry to get home and he is willing to sell the remaining food at attractive prices.

A friend of mine told me that his colleagues would rush to the pasar ramadan every day at 4 p.m.to buy food. Now that was early. I told my friend that maybe his colleagues just wanted to buy the best stuff for breaking the fast.
"What fast?" he said, "they're Chinese!"
What, not even fasting and want to rush to the pasar ramadan at 4 p.m.? Now that is too much leh!

I was looking for some char kuay teow but there was only one stall selling it. I saw a young Malay chap frying away and the sign said "Penang char koay teow". The crowd around his stall was big, so obviously he must be good. I have a rule of thumb when visiting a pasar ramadan: "Go where the crowds go." That is the best indicator on whether the food is good or not. But still, I did not feel like rushing with the crowd, so I decided to look for something else instead.

Walking further on, I came across a stall that sold all kinds of soup. And they also had an item called "Sup gear box". Now what kind of crazy marketing ploy is that, to name a soup after a gear box? Of course I didn't buy the stuff. But still, when I reached home, I thought that maybe I should have bought a packet to try, just to see how it tasted like.

I finally bought some murtabaks at RM1.50 each. I settled on the murtabak stall that has the most people around, and yeah, it tasted good when I had it later on.

I don't see what the fuss is with the U.S. presidential elections. Both candidates, Bush and Kerry, are about the same. I can't even tell them apart. Both look like they don't have the time or inclination for sex. Unlike Clinton. Now that is a guy who knows how to have a good time. Bad looking choice of sex partner though.

I don't understand why one of our loudmouth former politicians want to get involved in the whole affair by telling the Americans how to vote. Isn't he already retired? Does he really think that Kerry is going to be different from Bush? I remember how pissed off he was when Al Gore(another Democrat) came to this country and voice support for the "reformasi", and the loudmouth said that one should not try to interfere in another country's politics. But he is doing the same thing now. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

A word about Iraq. Call it what you like, but the fighting there is ethnic-based. It looks more and more like the former Yugoslavia everryday. Of course, we know that Yugoslavia finally broke up. The divide between the kurds and the Arabs has always been great. But now, the divide between the Arab shites and the Arab sunnis may even be greater. Bush would not allow a breakup of Iraq. But with Kerry, I just do not know. I think Kerry may allow Iraq to break up into three states. Either through purpose or through misadventure. It may not be a bad thing, actually.

Bush has been the target of a lot of jokes. It's all over the internet, so I won't tell any here. Heck, a lot of people say that his war record is a joke.

John Kerry's running mate is John Edwards. That's right. Both of them are called "John". This has led to the Republicans joking that the Democrats have so much shit that they needed two johns.(A "john" is slang word for a "toilet"). During the last elections, in California, many Democrats marked their voting slips wrongly because of the confusing design of the voting slip. Then they cried "foul" when they found out that they had voted for Bush instead of Al Gore. The Republicans were not sympathetic. I remembered one Republican displaying a placard with the words: "Democrats: Too Dumb to vote!"

Hope everybody get their votes properly casted this time around.

You may have noticed some slight changes I have made to this site. The email link is gone.

Let me explain. Previously, I said that I check my email once a month. Actually, because of laziness, what happened is that I check my email only once in every TWO months. During the two months, my email account would have collected lots of mail, which is totally spam. So what I do is that, I would just DELETE my mail UNREAD! My mailbox springcleaning is very fast and brutal!

There were one or two times that I opened up some mail that did not appear to be spam. They turned out to be from people who wrote to me to say nice things about my articles. The emails were so flattering that I cannot decide if they were from my genuine fans or from very ingenius insurance salesmen.

Anyway, that led me to think that my mail is not 100% spam, so there must have been people whose mail I have deleted sight unseen. For those of you who have written to me and have their mail deleted UNREAD, I am sorry. To prevent such a thing from happening in the future, I have decided to remove the email link. I figure that the email link is unnecessary since I have a commenting section here.

So good people, please don't write to me. Use the commenting section instead. Or if you still want to write to me, leave a comment in the commenting section to alert me that you have sent me email. I will then watch out for it when I make my next scheduled springcleaning of my mailbox. Thanks.